BOOM! Head Shot!!!!

So I was going to wait until the weekend to write about the whole pirate hostage situation, but the the U.S. Navy had to get all head shot crazy. Ironically, I was going to write that my solution to piracy in the area would be to place a team of Navy SEALS on ships and actually try to get hijacked. Once the pirates were on board, the SEALS could waste them and toss their bodies overboard. The pirates' numbers would drop faster than they could recruit kids to "mysteriously disappear at sea." But oh well, the real world beat me to my story.

This is honestly like something out of a video game. As the destroyer is towing the life raft (at the pirates request) to calmer waters, they slowly reeled them in until the 3 SEAL snipers were able to splatter the brain matter of 3 pirates (the 4th was on board the destroyer for medical attention because he got a boo boo) all over the Gulf of Aden. While this is the most bad ass thing since we rolled through the sandbox known as Iraq in like 3 days, they made one small mistake, they let the 4th pirate survive. They should have shot him and tossed his corpse overboard to join his friends.

As soon as I heard the news, I knew democrats all over the place would come out of the woodwork and protest that the pirates didn't get a fair trial. Now, because of the Navy's mistake and not killing the 4th pirate, everyone is arguing where he should be tried (it's a big FBI vs. CIA pissing match kinda thing). This is the problem with the hardcore lefties, they think everyone should get a trial. First off, he's not a U.S. citizen so don't tell me he gets one just because it's in our Constitution. Between what happened to his buddies and his home country's legal system, this guy should be thankful he's still alive right now. Second off, he was on the fucking life raft with them, how much more guilty does he get. If I was on that destroyer, I would have tried, convicted and sentenced him, then told the media that 4 snipers blew away 4 pirates on the life raft.

In honor of this bad ass-ness, I think a new video game is in order: Call of Duty 6 Modern Warfare 2. It could involve U.S. special forces doing all sorts of bad ass tactical missions in the Gulf of Aden, Somalia, and even North Korea. Mission 1 would clearly involve wasting 3 pirates in a life raft at 90 yards, at night, on rough seas (if that isn't bad ass I don't know what is) and then running to the medical bay and knifing the 4th guy. Mission complete when his body hits the water.