How to Fix the Economy, Crime Rates & Prison Overcrowding

Two words: Arena Deathmatch. Imagine a stadium full of people watch 20 or so guys just totally going at it. How awesome would that be? And if implemented properly it would be more entertaining than reality TV and fix all the problems listed in the title. Here's how you do it.

It starts with a single form of punishment for all crimes: death by Arena Deathmatch. From rape and murder all the way down to shoplifting, if you do it, you're gonna have to slug it out in front of a sold out stadium. Seriously, does the risk of getting caught outweigh the benefit of swiping that pack of tube socks? I didn't think so. While this new form of punishment won't signifigantly effect murder rates it will reduce the number mid level crimes where a death sentence isn't typical. Stealing a car to sell to a chop shop isn't so lucrative when the punishment is death as opposed to a short stint in jail, or better yet, probation.

Now on to prison overcrowding. Won't be an issue when you send them out into the arena to fight each other to the death. Then it's time to start preparing the next batch of criminals. To make things even more exciting come fight night, you could broadcast training sessions, documentaries, or even previous Arena Deathmatches on the prison TV's. When the prison starts filling up again you know it's time for another main event.

Here's the best part: you sell tickets to the main event and/or broadcast it on Pay Per View. I know this will work because were sick Americans and can't get enough of our crappy "reality" TV. Most Americans will be popping boners when they hear about this and will probably sell out fast than a Red Sox vs. Yankees playoff game. Shows like Survivor, American Idol, the Celebrity Apprentice and Big Brother couldn't even compare to an Arena Deathmatch.

Now for all the little details. On fight night you can have several less exciting events leading up to the main event. Maybe like a woman's deathmatch, a misdemeanor deathmatch, a juvenile deathmatch etc. all leading up to the main murder's death match. You could also have themed deathmates or give some of the prisoners weapons to really spice things up. And the winners move on to the next fight, kind of like the gladiators of back in the day.

Seriously though, the alliances of new guys banding together to kill the guy who's won the past 3 fights and subsequent back stabbing to follow will be way better than anything Survivor could offer. Arena Deathmatches would put the man soap opera known as the WWF/WWE/whatever it's called now out of business. Less crime and more entertainment, it's really a win-win for the American people.

P.S. I know I capitalized Arena Deathmatch throughout my post. That's beacuse they are so awesome.